I always knew I was strong, but getting the through the process of creating Peter's farewell showed me a different kind of strength the quiet, steady kind that comes from love and family, even in the darkest moments. I never imagined that my camera roll would even hold pictures like the image I have used for this blog not in my worst nightmares. It is moments like this that my brain processes that this is even real.
The kids led the arrangements and fortunately we was able to carry out all of their wishes thanks to Peter's brother. I am so thankful for him, as without his support we would have had to keep costs to a minimum. They made decisions no child should have to make. They knew what they wanted to do and they dug deep to be able to carry it through.
The kids had never experienced grief before, and they were nervous about seeing so many people. But their courage that morning was incredible. At the house with Jane, big sis Lou, Peter’s family, my mum, and me everything felt surreal. The kids had chosen black for the dress code so everyone wore black. Bailey looked lovely in her black dress, her hair freshly done, and Corey stood proudly in his little suit.
When the coffin arrived, the blue and white flowers were stunning, especially the steering-wheel tribute my mum had made with Peter’s number plate. The kids had decided they wanted to walk behind their dad one last time, and we were all anxious about how emotional that moment would be.
The venue, set in a bright meadow with glass all around, was full of light peaceful, airy, and warm. Two easels holding large photos of Peter stood at the front, giving the room a gentle honesty. The children wrote a beautiful speech but chose not to read it themselves, so the celebrant read it for them, along with speeches from friends and family. Peter’s sister stood and spoke with incredible bravery.
The service was informal and full of laughter exactly how Peter would have wanted it. I had never laughed so much at a funeral before. Sitting beside Jane, holding her hand, I could only imagine the emotions she must have been carrying in her heart.
Corey’s teachers also came to support him, giving him familiar faces to hold onto in the crowd. It was his final year of junior school, and their presence meant so much a reminder that kindness and community still exist even in heartbreak. He will forever remember this moment as will our family.
A slideshow played with photos of Peter growing up, photos of him with Jane, and beautiful memories they had created as a family. The sun streamed through the windows during the heatwave, lighting the whole room. As they spoke about Peter, a tiny spider crawled past me, and in that moment I felt as if it was him letting me know he was there.
When it was over, we all felt a sense of relief we had done him proud. Everything we planned, we pulled off. Despite the emotional strain, despite the challenges along the way, we gave him the farewell he deserved. A physical weight had been lifted. We took a moment alone with the kids to stand with the coffin and take photos. This was a way for the kids to look back on this moment and process this as real.
After the service, we went to a local pub for the wake. We talked about Peter what he’d be doing, what he’d be saying to us, how he’d want us to laugh and celebrate him. Later that evening, surrounded by friends and family in the pub he had known all his life, we raised our glasses and toasted him. This tragedy had taught us to cherish small moments and to take photos of everything.
Peter would have been so proud probably gobsmacked at how many people showed up, how many people loved him, and how beautifully the day honoured his life. His little sister had done him so proud.
The perfect celebration of his life 9/4/1986-27/3/2025 ❤️